


Snitches get Stitches

by Otoshigo



Series: MLB - Oneshots [10]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: ALL the ML pairings, Because I can, F/M, Honesty is the best policy, Humor, Romance, ice cream fluff, plotting and intrigue, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-31 01:06:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12121212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otoshigo/pseuds/Otoshigo
Summary: Marinette finds out Chat Noir is Adrien and she is... not impressed. Adrien is convinced she’s Ladybug, but has no way to prove it. Meanwhile Plagg has an agenda all his own...





	Snitches get Stitches

**Author's Note:**

> It always seems like Adrien gets the fun of figuring out Marinette is Ladybug first. I wanted to try something different.

_Adrien is Chat Noir._

_Chat Noir is Adrien._

No matter how many times Marinette repeated the words in her mind, it did not seem to compute. How was it possible that sweet, bright, handsome Adrien Agreste was the very same _cad_ that liked awful puns and grossly inappropriate flirtations?

Yet she knew what she saw. It had happened completely by accident, when she had jumped over an alleyway that Chat Noir had ducked into. Just in time to see him transform back into the beautiful blond that sat in front of her in class.

Tikki sure wasn’t happy with this development. However, she said that as long as Marinette didn’t tell (and she surprisingly had no desire to), then there was no problem. She also encouraged her to try to treat Adrien the same way.

Even so...

It honestly made Marinette question her entire perception of him. Sure, Chat grew on her. Like mold. That didn’t mean she felt remotely romantically inclined towards him. That didn’t change. What happened instead was that her crush on Adrien was somehow poisoned. That he was no longer a perfect angel descended from a celestial plane.

No. He was just a boy. Who had an awful sense of humor. Who constantly made unwanted passes at her. Who seemed to think that he could do whatever he wanted as long as he wore a mask.

It knocked the pedestal out from underneath him real fast.

It was probably unfair that she felt so resentful. It wasn’t Adrien’s fault that she had such unrealistic views of him. (Although it _was_ his fault he was so bloody two-faced.)

She _tried_ not to let it affect their friendship. But even _he_ noticed that she all but stopped stuttering around him. She was even aloof at times, her Ladybug side infecting her relationship with him. She was indifferent to the confused expressions he pulled out of the corner of her eye, while he tried to ply her with friendly smiles and amicable gestures to no avail.

Finally, one day someone asked, “Did Adrien do something to you?”

The question came from Nino, while Adrien was off at a photoshoot. Marinette frowned at the inquiry, before she shook her head. “No, not really,” she answered.

“Then why are you acting like he’s scum?”

It wasn’t really a surprise that Nino was asking about it on his behalf. Adrien wasn’t very good at defending himself from his friends.

“I’m not,” Marinette insisted, turning back to her design pad. However, Nino just gave her an expectant, dubious look. She squirmed uncomfortably. Well, it’s not like she could deny that she was treating Adrien differently. Trying to be diplomatic, she elaborated, “He’s just not who I thought he was. That’s all. It’s no big deal.”

“So, he _did_ do something,” the DJ said, his brow knitting into a frown.

Honestly, the raven-haired girl had no idea how to answer. Not without giving away Adrien’s secret and potentially hers. “Okay, sure,” she relented. “Can I go back to my homework now?”

The next day, Adrien began to pay particular attention to her. (Nino was _such_ a snitch.) “Good morning, Marinette!” he called as he hurried up the school steps, dashing up to meet her. “How are you? Isn’t it such a nice day today?”

Marinette glanced up to him. All she could see were the kitten ears, the mischievous eyes set in a black mask, and the lascivious smirk. How could she have missed it before? “Uh huh,” she replied, trying not to encourage him. “It’s fine enough.”

Adrien deflated a touch, but continued on undaunted. “Hey, I was wondering. Have you ever been to Paris Fashion Week? I have an extra ticket to my father’s showing for his female spring collection. Do you want to go with me?”

If it were anyone else, she would have jumped at the chance. Now, however, she gave the blond a long, considering look. If she said yes, would he take it as some kind of sign that she was easy? Willing? How could she tell with someone so disingenuous? “Is anyone else going?”

“Oh. Um... I only have the one ticket...” Adrien replied awkwardly, looking on her with a helpless expression. He waited anxiously for a reply, both of them silent at the impasse.

Finally, she gave in. She just had to remember. If it were anyone else... Therefore, she had to make some _effort_ to treat him like everyone else. “Okay, sure. It sounds like a lot of fun,” she said with a forced smile.

Adrien was oblivious to her discomfort. “Great! Th-that’s awesome! You’ll have a great time. I promise! Do you want to come over to my house after school to pick up the ticket? Maybe you could stay over for UMS and dinner?”

“Sorry, I’m busy,” Marinette replied. Which was true. She was done rearranging her entire schedule to accommodate this boy. “Can you just bring the ticket to school tomorrow morning?”

“Oh, uh, sure,” the blond replied, faltering. “S-so, um, did you want me to pick you up to go together...? Or...?”

“I can manage,” the designer replied lightly. In a move so natural she didn’t even think, she used a finger to tilt his chin upwards. She gave him a smirk, “Don’t worry. I’m a big girl.”

A blush spread over Adrien’s cheeks, his green eyes widening. Marinette had to admit, she wasn’t completely unaffected. He was still a handsome boy. Adrien swallowed hard and his voice nearly cracked when he spoke, “I believe it.”

Smiling to herself, Marinette patted him on the head. Then spotting Alya, she gave him a small wave goodbye, before she hurried off to meet the blogger. The model stared after her, the blush only growing across his cheeks. Adrien didn’t quite know what came over him. Because Marinette was... She was... Oh _wow._

Letting out a faint wheeze, Adrien clutched the front of his shirt, feeling his heart hammer double-time in his chest. Plagg peered up at him from his hiding space in his shirt. “What is _wrong_ with you?” he demanded, when the boy still hadn’t moved.

“Marinette, she... She’s... She’s acting like...” he swallowed again.

Plagg stared at the utterly smitten expression over his chosen’s face. “I knew you were a sap. I didn’t take you for a masochist.”

However, Adrien wasn’t listening. “I always thought she looked a bit like her, but she was always so shy... and really clumsy...” he murmured to himself. “D-do you think that she’s...?”

The black kwami kept silent. He remembered all too well Tikki’s warning when it came to these kinds of things. ‘ _Snitches get stitches.’_ In the only way he knew how, he decided to change the subject. “I think this is too much thinking. Why don’t you focus on something like cheese?”

At this, the blond let out a heavy sigh. “Plagg, don’t you ever have anything but food on your mind?” he asked as he headed up the stairs to the school gate.

 _Yeah, my survival,_ Plagg thought as he let out a mental sigh of relief.

~o~

However, Marinette - or should he say _Ladybug_ \- was doing nothing to help keep Plagg’s skin intact. Her treatment of Adrien didn’t change, reeling him in and pushing him away with the same confidence and swagger that she used to rebuff Chat Noir. As if she _knew_ who he was.

And Adrien, that _dolt,_ was completely falling for it. Only he didn’t have his defenses as Chat, no mask as a shield, no layer of protection. He was completely vulnerable. Adrien was falling, and falling _hard,_ completely convinced he’d finally found his Lady.

Obviously, he wasn’t wrong. Yet it fell to Plagg to try to convince him otherwise.

The blond was very nearly bouncing off the walls when it came time for Paris Fashion Week. The boy spent entirely too long trying to decide what to wear (four _hours,_ hours!), before he decided on a black suit and green tie. It was a little _too_ obvious.

“Why exactly are you trying to advertise Chat Noir?” the kwami demanded, as Adrien fussed over his hair in the bathroom mirror. “This is exactly what we told you not to do!”

“Who’s we?” Adrien blinked.

“Uh, er, I mean I. Just me,” Plagg said quickly. It was probably common sense that Adrien would realize there was another kwami out there, but he couldn’t be too careful. “But anyway, kid, you’re giving yourself away! What if someone connects the dots?”

“I _want_ Marinette to connect the dots,” the blond replied with a frown, making Plagg’s blood freeze. “She’s Ladybug. I know she is.”

“And how are you so sure that she is?” the kwami asked archly. “You’ve been in school with her for months! Why wouldn’t you have figured it out sooner?”

At this, the model had the grace to blush. “W-well, she wasn’t acting like Ladybug before, obviously,” he said in his own defense. “I don’t know why she changed, but you can’t deny that she’s acting like her now, right?”

“What? Actively disinterested in you?” Plagg asked. “Are you sure this isn’t a case of wanting what you can’t have?”

The boy was very good at not listening to what he didn’t want to hear. “How do I look?” he asked, spreading his arms out for inspection.

“Like you always do,” Plagg replied, “just in different clothes.”

Adrien rolled his eyes. He took one last look of himself in the mirror, before heading off for the venue. The kwami felt sorry for his chosen, he really did. He could feel all too easily from his hiding spot how the boy’s heart pitter-pattered. The child was a bundle of nervous energy, thrown by this girl more than any catwalk, photoshoot, or television camera. To say nothing of Hawkmoth or the akuma.

Pacing at the entrance to the show, Adrien greeted other colleagues in the business politely but curtly, making it very clear that his attention was diverted. Some knowing smiles were thrown his way and he was mostly left to his own devices.

It meant he had a captive and curious audience when Marinette finally arrived. Plagg was horrified to see that she was wearing _red._ What on earth was Tikki thinking?! One look up at his chosen’s gobsmacked face told all. He was doomed.

Marinette looked on Adrien with a bemused expression as she came up to the exhibition hall where the show was taking place. Was he _trying_ to give away his identity? She supposed she couldn’t talk, but she’d been holding off on wearing the red cheongsam her mother got her for too long. No matter what Tikki said. “Interesting wardrobe choice,” she remarked, tugging on his green tie with a finger.

All the blond could do was squeak.

It was... kind of cute.

 _So he dishes it out, but he can’t take it,_ Marinette thought, her smile only growing. _At least not without the mask._ Adrien was turning out to be a little more complex than she gave him credit for.

“Adrien, is this your date?”

Both spun, only to find a microphone in the model’s face. Along with more than one camera. Marinette mentally cursed. Somehow she’d completely forgotten that Adrien was a celebrity in both his worlds. “D-date?” the blond stammered, forcing Marinette to cut in.

“We’re just friends,” she said with a bright smile, taking Adrien’s arm in hers.

“Oh? And who are you wearing?”

“Sabine Dupain-Cheng,” Marinette said with a laugh. “We just thought it would be fun to come as Ladybug and Chat Noir. They’re our favorites.” That caused a warm titter from the media. “Sorry, we’re a little late. We need to get going.” With that, she tugged Adrien away, leading them off the red carpet and into the crowd.

“You handled that pretty well,” Adrien remarked idly, somewhat recovering though his cheeks were still rosy from the insinuation.

Well, she wasn’t about to admit that she had so much practice handling the media already. “I figure I better get used to it, if I’m planning on going to events like this in the future,” Marinette said instead. “I’m more surprised you were caught off guard. I thought you were used to the cameras.”

“W-well, that was- I was just-” The blond coughed into a fist, his cheeks flushed. “I’ve never... gone on a date with someone before,” he said, his green eyes darting shyly away. It couldn’t help but darken Marinette’s cheeks, reminding her of that fateful day in the rain. _I’ve never been to school before. This is all new to me._ Her heart couldn’t help but melt at his open vulnerability.

Then she remembered he was Chat Noir.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll charm the pants off of whomever you do go on your first date with,” she said lightly, turning her attention to the big names that were milling about. She felt him stiffen slightly under her arm.

However, Adrien recovered quickly enough (he always did as Chat). In a not so subtle way, he asked, “So... _hypothetically,_ if you were on a first date, what would you-” The model didn’t have the chance to finish when they were suddenly interrupted again by one of his father’s colleagues. Flashing Marinette a sheepish grin, the blond was forced to hold that thought while he attended to the more social aspects of the event.

Marinette didn’t mind in the least, completely awestruck by the company that the blond kept. Once he noticed, Adrien played it up for all it was worth, making it a point to chat up every designer he was on speaking terms with to introduce Marinette to them.

Meanwhile, Plagg had his own agenda. _(“Tikki. Tikki!”)_ he called to his mate, chancing it now that they were close enough.

 _(“Yes, Plagg?”)_ the red kwami answered from her hiding spot in Marinette’s bag. Plagg wished that he could see her to gauge her expression.

 _(“What’s the big idea, letting your chosen show up in red?”)_ he demanded.

 _(“She’s been putting off wearing her mother’s dress for ages. It was starting to get suspicious,”)_ Tikki replied. _(“It’s not like she knew that Adrien would show up in black and green. So what’s your excuse?”)_

 _(“MY excuse?”)_ Plagg cried indignantly. _(“My excuse is that Adrien is completely convinced that your girl is Ladybug! What on earth is going on with her? Why isn’t she a stuttering hot mess?”)_

There was a suspiciously long, silent pause.

 _(“....Tikki...”)_ Plagg growled.

The red kwami gave a delicate cough. _(“Marinette may or may not have accidentally seen Chat Noir transform back into Adrien.”)_

 _(“....WHAT?!”)_ The cry, even in kwami speak, was so loud that it startled Adrien momentarily out of his thought. However, having heard nothing, technically, he continued on with his conversation with Marinette and Jacques Roberts.

Plagg, on the other hand, was on the brink of a conniption fit. _(“You- you hypocrite! What was all that about keeping their identities secret for their own safety?! You’re the one who’s always on my case about this stuff!”)_

 _(“Well, technically, Marinette revealed nothing,”)_ Tikki replied archly. _(“It’s not her fault that your chosen wasn’t more careful with detransforming. So I would say the blame is on you.”)_

_(“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”)_

Once again, Adrien mentally blanked, somehow picking up his kwami’s cries mid-sentence. He blinked, “Wow, sorry. I’m really out of it today for some reason,” he apologized, when they all heard the welcome announcement boom over the speakers. “Ah, we should probably head to our seats anyway. Marinette, shall we?”

 _(“No! No way! You’re not pinning this one on me!”)_ Plagg cried. _(“I kept my mouth shut! Even when he was being so lovesick and moony over this girl! And he still is! You don’t know how many times I’ve nearly gagged on my cheese these past months!”)_

 _(“...Alright, fine. You did everything within reason,”)_ Tikki relented at last.

 _(“Okay good,”)_ Plagg huffed, folding his arms over his tiny chest. _(“So when is your girl going to dish? I’m sick of this boy blathering on about her.”)_ The kwami gave an overly-dramatic sigh. _(“Is she the one? Is she not? Oh woe is me, my poor boyish heart can’t take it any more! Put me out of my misery~!”)_

_(“She’s not going to.”)_

Plagg twitched. _(“...Excuse me?”)_

 _(“Marinette still understands the import of keeping their identities secret,”)_ Tikki reasoned, _(“And she doesn’t feel the need to divulge her identity.”)_

 _(“Doesn’t feel the- What about MY needs?!”)_ the black kwami cried indignantly, on the brink of hysterics. _(“What am I supposed to do about this kid?!”)_

 _(“Just do what you’ve been doing. Endure him and don’t snitch,”)_ Tikki said, her voice dropping in warning. Plagg could almost imagine her blue-eyed glower of doom. _(“Because if I find out that you did...”)_

 _(“I know, snitches get stitches,”)_ Plagg grumbled.

 _(“Good!”)_ Tikki said, entirely too innocently for his liking. That was when Marinette began to the head off for some private time. _(“Well, good luck, Plagg! Talk to you later!”)_

However, the kwami of destruction only seethed in silent fury, as his mate moved out of range. He could not _believe_ how unbelievably unfair this was! Why did he _(and_ Adrien, come to think of it) have to be subjected to such treatment?! Why did they get the short straw, while _the girls_ held all the cards?!

Well, he just wasn’t going to stand for it. Not this time! This meant _war._

 _“Kid,”_ Plagg pssted up at his chosen, while Marinette and Tikki were off in the bathroom. Adrien glanced down at him. “Do you really, _really_ want to get this girl?”

“Yes, of course,” Adrien said in earnest, brow knitting into a frown at the sudden change in his kwami’s attitude.

“Good, me too,” Plagg said. Although they had _very_ different meanings behind the phrase. “Kid, I’ve been holding out on you. I have thousands of years of experience at my disposal. If you want to woo her, you’re going to listen to exactly what I say. Do you understand?”

Adrien blinked. However, he couldn’t argue with how serious his kwami acted in that moment. He nodded slowly in agreement.

“Alright, we’ll talk later tonight. But first things first, play it cool, kid. Nobody likes someone overeager. _Second,_ knock it off with the Chat Noir Ladybug stuff. This isn’t the time or place for it. You got that?”

Adrien nodded again, much more quickly.

 _“Good,”_ Plagg purred. Spotting Marinette approaching, he sank back into his hiding spot. “Just remember to play it cool.”

“Got it,” Adrien whispered back, before he turned his attention back to his non-date.

Hidden in the blond’s inner pocket, the dark kwami cackled deviously as he began to formulate his plan. Sure, he wasn’t going to snitch. Oh no. Not this time.

Tikki’s girl was going to do that for him.

~o~

“Okay first! Step one!”

Adrien sat attentively in his bedroom as his kwami wrote in dry eraser over his enormous windows. His pen hovered over his pad of paper, ready to take notes. Sensing the change in his companion, the blond had fallen in step without question, ready to do whatever was asked of him.

“Stop it with the puns and pick up lines!”

Up until that point, that is.

“Wait, what? What’s wrong with them?” Adrien demanded, his brow knitting into a frown. “My puns are hilarious!”

“To _you_ maybe,” Plagg said, “But Ladybug _and_ Marinette think they’re awful. But that’s not even the worst part. Your lines are absolutely horrendous! That is absolutely no way to seduce a woman, even if they’re drunk at a bar at last call. It just doesn’t work. You’re much better off if you just cut it out.”

Adrien flushed, reluctantly writing down the first point. “...didn’t think they were _that_ bad...” he grumbled under his breath.

“Step two!” Plagg said, ignoring his chosen’s disgruntlement. “You’re going to stop paying so much attention to Ladybug. Do you understand? Your new love is Marinette.”

“Wait, but Marinette _is_ Ladybug,” Adrien objected, thoroughly confused. “What on earth is that going to accomplish?”

“Either you’re right about Marinette and it appears as though you love her true self more than her alter-ego - believe me kid, the girls go gaga over that kind of thing,” Plagg explained, “OR Ladybug is not Marinette and you get her jealous. Capische?” Adrien scarcely nodded before the kwami continued:

“Step three! This girl in particular is not impressed with your heroics. She seems to have a thing for sensitive boys. SO, you are going to ham it up for all that it’s worth.”

“Ham- Plagg, I don’t want to trick her!” the blond cried in horror. “She doesn’t deserve that kind of thing!”

“Ah, perfect! That! You keep that up!” Plagg said cheerfully, to the model’s complete befuddlement. “You do that as both Adrien and Chat Noir and she’ll lap it up like cream.”

“...You want me to be Adrien... as Chat Noir?” the blond asked with an incredibly high degree of skepticism. “And by the way, aren’t we still two different people to her? Isn’t she just going to think she’s got two boys in love with her?”

At this Plagg hedged. “Weeell, she’s bright, no? If you two start acting the same way, she’ll figure it out. Anyway, never you mind that for now. The important thing is that you prep up for it. Obviously, you still need to kick the akuma’s ass, so you can’t be completely Adrien. But when it’s just the two of you, do that dopey, gooey thing you do best.”

Adrien gave him a flat glare.

“Lastly, step four. And this is the most important one. You are _not_ going to pursue Marinette.”

“I’m... not?” Adrien blanched. “But you just said-”

“That she’s your new love, yes,” Plagg replied. “But you’re not going to make _any_ moves on her. Do you understand? Make her come to you. It’s called playing hard to get. You’re going to be lovesick and coy, which is what you’ve been doing all along, so you should be fine.”

The blond looked at the scrawled writing on the window, to his own notepad. “...I’m _really_ not sure about this.” He let out a small yelp as his vision was filled with with two angry green eyes.

“You listen to me and you listen good!” Plagg cried a mere inch away from his nose, “I know women better than you! If you want a chance to get what you want, you’re going to listen to everything I say! _If_ she is Ladybug, we’re going to make her fall for you so hard, that she’s going to tell her that she’s Ladybug herself! You’re not allowed to blow this for me! Got it?!”

Mute with shock at the explosion, Adrien nodded wide eyed.

With that, the black kwami smoothed out his bristling fur as he regained his composure. “Good. Now that we have that settled. Here’s the first thing you’re going to do...”

~o~

There was _definitely_ something up with Chat Noir.

Technically, that meant there was something wrong with Adrien too, but the change was far more obvious in her usually rowdy, punster partner. Ladybug stared at her partner in suspicion, as the silent cat looked off in the distance and gave a forlorn sigh. Chat Noir had barely looked at her all evening, his mind otherwise occupied. She thought that she would enjoy the quiet. However, she found out that it was quite _annoying._

“Something on your mind?” she finally caved, unable to take the silence any longer.

“Hm?” Chat glanced in her direction. He gave her a dopey smile. “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about someone,” he replied, never looking or sounding more like Adrien in that very moment. If she hadn’t already known who was behind the mask, she’d have some grave suspicions by now.

“Oh? And who might that be?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Something twisted unpleasantly in her gut. Just _who_ managed to captivate Chat/Adrien’s attention like this?

The giddy grin spread wider over Chat’s face. “You remember that girl you sent me to look after when Evillustrator struck? Marinette? The cute one?”

Ladybug blanched. “Me- Marinette? Really? That’s who’s got you all in a tizzy?” When Chat Noir nodded, she couldn’t help but gape. Sure, she noticed that Adrien was acting cozier with her than usual, but she had _no_ idea that it affected him _this_ much. He’d turned from an outrageous flirt into a completely smitten kitten. “W-wow, you really like her, huh?”

“Loads,” Chat grinned, his cheeks rosy with a faint blush. It caused yet another unpleasant flurry to erupt in her stomach.

...Was it actually possible for her to be jealous of herself?

Ladybug shook the thought off. Now _that_ was getting into the realm of the ridiculous. Even just a few weeks ago, she’d be over the moon that Adrien had _any_ romantic inclinations towards her. Now though, she really had to wonder if the cat really had changed its spots. “So... you going to do anything about it?” she asked, feigning aloofness.

Chat’s blush only worsened. “U-um, no. I don’t think so,” he said, suddenly turning _shy_ of all things, as he scuffed a boot against the rooftop. “I don’t want to scare her off. I’m fine with things like this.”

Ladybug stared at him as if he’d grown a second head.

Suddenly, Chat’s ears flicked and the shy kitten was gone in an instant, as his expression turned serious. “Sounds like trouble,” he said, before he flashed his partner a wicked grin. “Last one there’s a rotten egg!” With that, he took off, dashing along the Parisian rooftops.

“Hey, wait, you cheater!” the heroine called after him. “I don’t know where we’re going!”

That evening, when the akuma was safely purified and all was right with the world, Marinette contemplated her pictures of Adrien posted to her wall. Hugging her knees, her face pulled into a deep frown, as though she were trying to decipher a particularly enigmatic work of modern art.

Tikki glanced at her charge out of the corner of her eye, as the kwami decimated her small plate of cookies. “Something wrong, Marinette?”

“Chat’s acting... really weird,” Marinette said, once again at odds with trying to reconcile two blonds in her mind. Just when she thought she’d completely written Adrien off, Chat had to go and- and- do something like this! It wasn’t fair!

“You mean lovesick?” the red kwami teased, her expression turning sly. “Why, Marinette, I thought you would be happy that your crush likes you back.”

A bright blush blossomed over Marinette’s cheeks. “But he’s also _Chat,”_ she argued. “That irredeemable, no-good, flirty showoff! I’m never going to like him!”

“Well, he seems to like you~” Tikki giggled as her chosen groaned into her pillow. She gently patted the young teen on the shoulder, giving her a consoling smile. “And never say never, Marinette. You did like Adrien once, you know. Quite a bit.”

“I don’t _not_ like him now,” Marinette grumbled, though it didn’t sound particularly convincing. “It’s just... I don’t even know if I can believe it or not.”

“You don’t need to do anything about it right now,” the red kwami reasoned, turning back to her cookies. “Just remember what I told you.”

“No telling who I am, I know,” the teen sighed, returning to her task of scrutinizing her wall of Adrien.

“Good girl,” Tikki said with a pleasant smile.

Meanwhile, Adrien gave his own kwami a very dubious look as Plagg plotted their next move in the safety of his bedroom. “Plagg, I don’t think that worked at all. Ladybug kept looking at me like I was completely nuts,” the blond argued, still unsettled by his partner’s reaction to him.

“Nonsense. All you did was unseat her expectations of you,” Plagg replied absently, embroiled in his new plans. “Believe me, she’s intrigued. _Now,_ let’s talk about school.”

~o~

The change in Adrien was far more subtle than his superhero alter-ego. However, now that Marinette had an eye out, she couldn’t help but notice the way that his attention always seemed fixed to her. In a quiet, _adoring_ sort of way that made her blush. As Chat inferred, Adrien didn’t seem at all interested in doing anything about his sudden crush. Aside from being extra courteous to her, such as carrying her bag or her books, or bringing her coffee or hot chocolate from the best cafes in Paris.

She wasn’t... unaffected. Much as she tried to remind herself that Chat Noir was hiding behind Adrien’s angelic face. It was _very_ difficult to keep her crush from resurging. He was just so _sweet,_ so gentlemanly. Not at all like the boy who did things like manhandle her, make passes at her, _smell_ her once even. How were they the same boy?

The final straw came one rainy day. Adrien waited for her at the school gate, even as she realized that she had forgotten her umbrella. With a sense of deja vu so strong it was almost tangible, she stood side by side with the blond. Alone. He smiled that perfect smile, just for her. His green eyes glowed with affection. In one smooth motion, he opened up the black umbrella (a new one apparently) holding it out to shield her from the rain.

It was so hard to breathe.

“Can I walk you home?” he asked softly.

Marinette was _doomed._

“S-sure,” she replied, trying her very best to remain aloof and failing miserably. Her whole body was alight with nerves and giddy energy. Though it was such a short walk, it seemed to stretch forever and somehow last for just a second. “Um, thanks,” she said, once they reached her doorway. “For walking me. You didn’t have to.”

“It was my pleasure,” Adrien replied, bowing his head to press a small kiss to her knuckles. He smiled warmly at her, catching the way her cheeks glowed and her breath hitched. “You have a good night, Marinette.” With that, he took his leave to his waiting car.

Later that night...

“You couldn’t stop yourself, could you?” Plagg asked archly, more than a little annoyed as he surveyed his chosen.

Adrien only grinned wide, staring up at the ceiling from his bed as he gushed. Patently ignoring his kwami. “She’s so _cute!_ How did I not notice before? Did you see the way she blushed? So cute! I could have kissed her right there.”

“Well I’m glad you didn’t!” the black kwami cried. “You’re forgetting the plan!”

“Plan?” Adrien blinked as he looked over to the little destruction kwami. “Plagg, I can’t even follow your plan. Why do I have to keep playing all these mind games?”

 _“Because,_ kid, she’s not going to be completely, 100% yours until she confesses to any potential second-life she might have,” Plagg grated out. “But in any case, we need to move onto phase two. She’s smitten. We need to get her desperate.”

The model’s mouth set into a thin line, not at all liking the way that this was going. “Plagg, I don’t think-”

“Have I been wrong so far?” the kwami asked, before the boy could finish the thought.

“...No,” Adrien admitted reluctantly.

“Then you will continue to do as you’ve been doing and listen to me,” Plagg replied haughtily. “Because this is where things get tricky.”

~o~

Tikki was beginning to get suspicious.

Not that she doubted that Adrien or Chat’s feelings were anything but sincere. Plagg had been given a rare gem: a boy who knew what he wanted and was devoted from the very start. She was not even particularly surprised that Adrien’s focus had shifted from Ladybug to Marinette. After all, she’d been encouraging her chosen for months. As she always said, Marinette was amazing in her own right. It was about time that some of that began to be recognized.

What _was_ suspicious?

That neither Adrien _or_ Chat were _doing anything_ about it.

Adrien was a sweet and earnest boy, who had enough gumption to enroll in school on his own and try to run away from his tutors. If something or someone was right there in front of him, why wouldn’t he take the initiative? However, what _really_ took the cake was Chat Noir. When he was Chat, all inhibitions went completely out the window. Yet all the cat seemed interested in was mooning over his new love in front of Ladybug.

This game didn’t seem like Adrien _at all._

In fact, it had a certain set of other paws all over it.

Plagg was up to something. She had no idea what. Her mate’s plans, whenever he put any effort into them, were always slow and nefarious. He didn’t have a problem with biding his time and waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. It was in his nature. This felt like one of those lulls. The calm before the storm. Unfortunately there wasn’t anything she could do about it. Not yet anyway.

All she could really do was try to comfort poor Marinette, who was being put through the ringer by the charming blond as she never had been before.

~o~

Plagg’s plan was beginning to drive Chat Noir up the wall.

Weeks, _weeks!_ had gone by and he was forced to bench his desires. Instead of just reaching out for what was so obviously in front of him. He wasn’t even sure this whole approach of winning Marinette/Ladybug over by _not_ winning her over was even working. All that he could tell was that she was just getting frustrated and annoyed. He couldn’t blame her, since he was in the exact same camp. Sure, it was fun to secretly compliment her to her face, but he wanted so badly to hold her, to _kiss_ her, to whisper sweet nothings into her ear.

And he _couldn’t._

The rooftops of Paris bore the brunt of his vexation. Maybe it was his destructive influence, but there was nothing quite as satisfying as raking his claws down the rooftop shingles like his own personal scratching posts. (A little destruction of property never hurt anyone.)

Chat was in the middle of his scratching sessions, when he heard the squeal of metal shredding in the distance. Along with terrified shrieks and screams and cackling laughter. His heart began to hammer, but not because there was an akuma. No, this might actually be his trigger.

**Phase Two Initiation**

Condition 1 - Ladybug wasn’t around. Check.

Condition 2 - Akuma was in Zone 4 (per Plagg’s map) nearby her home. Check.

Condition 3 - No television crew to broadcast it yet. Check (probably).

Condition 4 - Marinette was at home.

That he was going to have to investigate himself and was Step One in his kwami’s overly complicated plan. He wasn’t a fan, but he was far too invested already to blow this. As fast as his feet could take him, he flew across the rooftops to the familiar patisserie nearby school. To his relief, he found Marinette tucked away in her room, writing away in a pink notebook.

Chat knocked on her window, startling her out of writing. He didn’t need to feign his own giddy grin when she looked up at him with those gorgeous bluebell eyes. When she came over to the window to investigate, he launched himself at her, wrapping her slender shoulders up in a tight hug. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” he spoke, relishing the simple pleasure of just having her in his arms. He’d been waiting for this for _so long._

“S-safe?” Marinette asked. She pushed him back, getting a better look at his expression. “What do you mean, safe? What happened?”

“There’s an akuma nearby. I was worried you might be caught in the crossfire,” Chat replied. He wasn’t particularly a fan of this part. It just felt so... disingenuous. Of course he worried, but he knew that Ladybug could take care of herself. Still, he was quite the experienced liar, so he could spit this out if needed.

Thankfully, Marinette didn’t pick up on his insincerity. Instead, she turned white. “Ch-Chat! You can’t run to me when there’s an akuma out there!” she chastised. “Your responsibility is to Paris!” However, she squeaked when he clasped her hands together, holding them as if they were the most precious things in the world.

“I know,” he replied softly. “I couldn’t help myself.” Chat also couldn’t help but preen at the way her face burned with a blush. She was so _cuuute._ Socutesocutesocute! Gah, he couldn’t stand it! No, stop. He couldn’t be distracted. Cupping a hand to her burning cheek, he leaned in and whispered into her ear, “Do you promise to stay here?”

“I... what?” Marinette asked, dazed and insensible.

“Stay here. Stay out of the akuma’s way,” Chat insisted. In words meant for Marinette and Ladybug both, he said, “That’s what I’m there for. To keep you safe. To protect you. If anything happened to you, I don’t think I could bear it.”

“Chat...” Marinette breathed. Then she shook her head, clearing the haze and regaining her composure. “You’re being ridiculous and _late_ and you and Ladybug need to go out there to protect Paris! Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise!”

 _This sly..._ Chat thought in amazement. It wasn’t the promise he was supposed to elicit from her. Not according to Plagg’s plan. Still, he couldn’t figure out a way to argue around it. So, he may as well make the best of it that he could. _“Fine,”_ he relented with a sigh, before turning a hopeful look on his cutest of all classmates. “Would you grant this knight a small favor before he goes to battle?”

He could just imagine Plagg gagging at the romantic line, but Marinette gave him a raised eyebrow and a quirky smile. “And what exactly were you thinking, Chatvalier Noir?”

She punned. She just punned! He was in _love._

“A kiss for good luck?” he asked, smiling wide. “I need all the luck I can get, considering.”

As if to prove his point, they were rudely interrupted by the harsh screech of metal on metal. Chat looked out to see that their new supervillain was tearing up the streets, sending cars colliding into one another. Damn, he’d been loitering for too long!

As soon as his attention was diverted, he suddenly felt a chaste peck on his cheek. The simple kiss hit him like a wrecking ball, nearly toppling him right off the window ledge in shock. Whirling around with a hand to his cheek, he stared wide-eyed at a brightly blushing Marinette. “Go!” she ordered, before she roughly shoved him off the ledge.

Luckily, he landed on his feet. Though only just as he still reeled from the kiss. With a smile that nearly split his face, Chat tore off towards the villain.

Marinette watched briefly from the window as her partner took off down the street towards the akuma. “There he goes, not thinking again!” she huffed, though her reddened cheeks belied her irritation. “That boy never learns.”

Tikki came out from her hiding spot, a perturbed and suspicious look on her face directed at no one in particular. “Marinette, do you need to go too?” she reminded her chosen lightly.

“Oh right!” the designer said with a start. “Tikki, transforme-moi!”

~o~

That evening, Plagg was _not_ pleased.

“Kid...” he said, trembling slightly as he tried to hold onto his barely restrained anger. “I don’t think you realize that we only have one shot at this. You have to get that girl to admit her secret identity!”

“Plagg, you’re the only one weirdly stuck up on that whole thing,” Adrien replied with a wrinkle of his nose. He’d been _busy_ daydreaming about how he would finally ask Marinette out. How he would take her out, share ice cream, make her laugh...

“And what if she’s not Ladybug?”

The words doused the warm fantasy like a bucket of ice water. “W-well of course she is,” Adrien insisted, though his immutable conviction suddenly began to waver. Because really, _what if._ “She has to be. I’m- I’ve already...” _What if._ His face paled, his whole body turning cold. No, he _was_ sure that Marinette was Ladybug. Absolutely positive.

...But what if she _wasn’t?_

“Plagg. Plagg, I’m already in love with her!” he cried in horror, turning a desperate look on his kwami.

“Exactly,” the dark kwami purred. “This is exactly why you need to find out for sure, no?”

“I... Damn it, Plagg! I’m not going to be like Lady Wifi!” Adrien snapped, his hands fisting at his sides. He paced the length of his room in agitation, torn between loyalty and desire. “I’m not going to force her to tell me who she is!”

“I didn’t say anything about forcing her,” Plagg replied, examining his tiny claws. “The reason my plan is so ‘complicated’ as you put it, is to... _encourage_ her to tell you of her own volition. It’s all perfectly above board.”

“...You promise?” the blond asked, giving the little black being a suspicious look.

“I swear,” the destruction kwami replied, putting a paw over his heart. “Now, go get me another wheel of cheese while I try to figure out how to fix this mess.”

~o~

“Thank you so much!”

“You’re very welcome,” Ladybug smiled as she very carefully handed the white and grey kitten back to its seven year old owner. She couldn’t tell _how_ many times she’d had to rescue kittens stuck up a tree (and that was excluding Chat Noir). An amused smile stretched across her lips as she watched the kitten bristle as it was squeezed just a little too tightly.

Cats were just no end of trouble.

“Ladybug!” a voice called across the park, drawing her attention upwards. She found none other than a familiar blond grinning brightly at her. As soon as he was spotted, he waved and jogged over.

Well, speak of the devil.

“Er, Adrien. Hi,” she said awkwardly, rubbing a hand against her arm. Damn but his angelic face did have an affect on her. “N-nice day today, huh? You going out for a walk?” She couldn’t help but notice that his bodyguard was conspicuously missing. This probably meant that he was doing one of his little ‘walkabouts.’ She did wonder what his control-freak of a father would think of his precious son being smacked around by supervillains on a regular basis.

“A little one,” Adrien admitted sheepishly, “but actually, I was hoping I’d run into you.”

“Me?” Ladybug asked in surprise.

The blond nodded. “Yeah. You’re kind of good with love-related stuff, right?” he asked with a shy smile. “I mean, you hooked up Ivan and Mylene. Then Alya and Nino... So... I was wondering if I could ask you for some advice? I-if you don’t mind,” he added quickly, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck with a nervous gesture.

Ladybug stared at him.

Oh he was _not_ asking her this, was he?

...Yes. Yes, he was.

 _Express train to Awkward-ville, here I come._ “Sure!” the heroine replied a little too brightly. “I’d be happy to. Give you, uh, advice. Right.”

Adrien beamed at her in a way that threatened to melt her into goo. “Let me buy you an ice cream,” he decided, whirling away to the ice cream vendor before she could object.

Ladybug was pretty sure that in the history of all Ladybugs no civilian just randomly offered the superheroine ice cream. Then again, this wasn’t just any civilian. Still, it was very, _very_ strange to be sitting beside her unmasked partner on one of the park benches, eating ice cream. He’d managed to get her favorite too, raspberry-sage. They were certainly an odd sight to anyone who happened to pass by in the park.

“So~ what did you want advice about?” she asked, taking only half-hearted licks of her ice cream. “Love-related stuff, right?”

“Yeah,” Adrien replied, his handsome face only made all the more so with the faint blush that dusted his cheeks. Not quite able to meet her eye, his gaze was focused on the Ladybug and Chat Noir statue in the center of the park. “There’s this girl in my class that I’m absolutely crazy about,” he finally said. “She’s so cute. And she’s talented and sweet and headstrong.” A tiny smile touched the edge of his lips. “Honestly? I think I’ve really fallen for her.”

Ladybug swallowed. Hard.

Ice cream all but forgotten, her whole body threatened to overheat unable to pretend his words away. She knew exactly who he was talking about. Chat had been talking about _her_ non-stop. Adrien had been lavishing _her_ with all his attention. It was weird, but she felt both giddy _and_ jealous from being talked about in third-person like this.

“So... what’s the problem?” she asked, her voice slightly strained from the effort of speaking. “Why don’t you ask her out? She wouldn’t say no to you, surely.”

“Don’t call me Shirley,” Adrien jested, unable to contain his pawful sense of humor. Ladybug rolled her eyes briefly, but waited for him to elaborate. Slowly, painfully slowly, the blond said, “The problem is... I also like someone else.”

At once, all the blood drained from her body. Her complexion went as white as snow and the ice cream fell from her slack fingers. “...What?” she whispered, the world suddenly spinning. “Who?”

The model looked up at last, meeting her eyes with his. “You.”

This boy was throwing her for a thousand loops. “Me?!” Ladybug cried incredulously. “You can’t be- Are you serious?!”

“Completely,” Adrien replied gravely. Then he gave her a shy smile, “Ever since the first moment I met you.”

Ladybug couldn’t even pretend to not know what he was talking about. To argue that she and ‘Adrien’ only met a handful of times. She knew that he meant as Chat Noir. Chat Noir. He’d been... this whole time?

“So... you see my problem, right?” the blond asked, slightly canting his head. “I don’t mean you any discomfort, honest. It’s just... This is _torture_ for me. You’re both so amazing and I just...” He shook his head and leaned back against the bench, letting out a sigh. “I’m sorry. This is really stupid.”

“No!” Ladybug interjected. “No, not at all. I’m flattered,” she said, her cheeks effusing with a dark blush. How had she managed to make this boy fall for her _twice?_ And now it was only hurting _him._ “A-are you sure there isn’t one you prefer over the other?”

Adrien glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Very carefully, he said, “I don’t think I could choose between you if I tried. Since I can’t, it’s not really fair to try to start anything with Marinette. My heart isn’t fully in it. Not until...” He let out a frustrated growl, running a hand through his styled hair. “Gah, I’m such an idiot! This is so _stupid,”_ he said in a low breath that wasn’t entirely meant for her.

Ladybug’s heart wrenched with excruciating guilt. Here she was, perfectly aware that Adrien and Chat Noir were one in the same person and it had only prejudiced her unjustly against him. Meanwhile, he was in agony because he had no idea that Marinette and Ladybug were one in the same. How was this fair?

And how was it fair for _her?_ She’d been wondering for _weeks_ why he hadn’t made a move. Now it turned out that she was in a love triangle with herself!

“Ladybug.” She looked up to Adrien, who regarded her solemnly. “If you tell me there’s absolutely no chance with you, I can live with that. You just need to tell me.”

“And then... then you’ll move onto Marinette?” she asked hopefully.

The model looked uneasy. “...Maybe. I don’t want her to think I’m just settling for her. It would take a long time to get over someone like you.”

What?! This wasn’t _fair!_

“Ladybug?” Adrien questioned, “Do you...? Think there’s any chance between me and you?” His eyes were so bright, so earnest, so hopeful. So full of sweet adoration. She understood now. Chat Noir was a mask, a very necessary mask. One that kept this sweet boy shielded from all the hurt that the world had to offer. Without it, he was so utterly vulnerable and exposed.

She wanted to tell him. No, she _needed_ to tell him. That his torture, his anxiety was all for nothing. He was in love with the very same girl all along. There was no need for him to go through all this heartbreak. It would be so _simple._

“Adrien, I...” she started. Suddenly her earrings beeped. Ladybug blinked. She hadn’t used Lucky Charm. Why was she decharging? “I- I gotta go,” she said quickly, jumping up to her feet. “I’m sorry! We’ll talk later!”

With that she bolted, leaving an equally surprised Adrien behind. In only a few swings she was safely back at home, where she could detransform in privacy. Once she did, she turned a worried look on her kwami. “Tikki, what happened! Why did I decharge?” Marinette faltered when she looked at her companion’s expression.

The little red being regarded her with narrowed eyes and the most disapproving look that she could muster. Which was _very_ disapproving. “Marinette,” she sighed, “you were going to tell him, weren’t you.”

Marinette started guiltily. “Wh-what, me?” she said unconvincingly. “No, why would I.... Okay, fine I was,” she relented, folding her arms over her chest. “But how can I not! You heard him, didn’t you? And I already know his secret anyway!”

“Marinette, you’re being played.”

The young designer blinked. Then scoffed. “No. No way, Adrien isn’t like that. Chat isn’t either.”

“That boy is being played as well,” Tikki replied with a weary sigh. “It’s not entirely his fault. But you can’t let him know who you are. Chat Noir always has the very worst luck when it comes to akuma. What if he possessed the knowledge of who you are and he was even temporarily out of his mind? He could let your identity slip without ever meaning to. Trust me, Marinette. It’s better this way.”

Tikki was right. Of course, she was right. Yet it still made her feel disgusting regardless. Collapsing back into a chair, she sank her head into her hands. “Then what am I supposed to do? What about Adrien? Are we really never going to be together because of this?”

The little red being silently regarded her chosen. _Well played, Plagg. Well played. But now I’m onto you._

Coughing lightly, Tikki said, “Don't worry, Marinette. I have an idea.”

_There's more than one way to skin a cat._

~o~

The next day at school, the young designer’s stomach tied itself up into knots as she headed into the classroom. At the head of the class, Adrien brightened when he saw her, giving her a small wave. Marinette swallowed hard and ignored him, moving instead towards the back of the class.

She couldn’t look at him. She _couldn’t,_ Or else she would completely lose her nerve.

Nathanaël glanced up as she approached, blinking in surprise. “M-Marinette? Good morning.”

“Good morning!” she said a little too loudly, her stomach a flurry of anxiety. “Could I... do you mind if we chatted outside? In private?”

“Uh....” the artist said, his eyes briefly flicking in Adrien’s direction. The blond stared at both of them, jaw slightly slack in disbelief, hand held up mid-wave. “Sure, okay.” Nathanaël walked out into the hallway. Marinette led them well away from the windows where they could be eavesdropped on, though that meant they were in plain sight. “Marinette, is there a problem...?”

Marinette wrung her fingers together anxiously, well aware that her classmates were watching them from the classroom windows. “Nathanaël, do you mind going on a date with me?”

Nathanaël’s eyes went wide, physically balking. “Wh-what?! Are you- I thought you and Adrien were going out!”

The designer supposed that she could see why people made that assumption. Adrien had been incredibly lovey-dovey with her for the past few weeks. “Well, he’s never actually asked me yet,” she admitted. “That’s kind of the problem. I don’t think he’s ever going to. N-not without, um...”

“...extra incentive?” Nathanaël supplied. He couldn’t help but cast a dark look at the windows, specifically at the green-eyed blond that was staring at their exchange. “That’s _horrible._ I’m sorry he’s been stringing you along like that. You don’t deserve that.”

“Y-yeah,” she murmured, a barb of guilt settling in her stomach. “So, um, what do you think? I completely understand if you’re not interested in helping me-”

“No! No, I’m willing,” Nathanaël replied quickly. “Honest, no strings attached. I-I would love to take you on a date.”

“You sure? I don’t want you to get your hopes up,” Marinette fretted.

A strangely fiendish smile settle on Nathanaël’s lips. “I’d say yes, just to teach him a lesson.”

Marinette didn’t quite understand her classmate’s motivations, or was particularly comforted by them, but she was slightly desperate here. “Ah, well, okay then. Are you free tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow’s great.”

Marinette gave him a weak smile, heading back into class where the rest of their classmates were suddenly very interested in looking at everything except for the two of them. With Adrien being a notable exception, as he openly gaped at Marinette and Nathanaël. When she took her seat, Nathanaël made a point to take her hand and give it a small shake. “I’m looking forward to tomorrow.”

“S-see you!” Marinette replied, a chill rolling down her shoulders as she _felt_ Adrien looking at her. It was impossible to meet his eyes, especially when he was _right in front of her,_ staring at her. Gaze demanding an explanation. She kept her eyes firmly affixed away.

Nino budged Adrien with an elbow. “I thought she was going out with you,” he hissed under his breath.

However, the model only paled. “I... I never asked her,” he whispered, all the blood draining from his face. His complexion went green. _“Excuse me,”_ he said as he pushed himself up from his desk, rushing out only a minute or two before class was to start.

In the privacy of the bathroom, Adrien whirled on his kwami. “You- look what you and all your scheming did!” he shrieked. “I would have already asked her out by now if it weren’t for you! Now she’s going out with someone else!”

Plagg looked unimpressed. “She’s bluffing.”

“B-bluffing?! How is that bluffing?!” Adrien demanded, ready to strangle the little black kwami between his hands.

“It doesn’t mean anything. She just wants to see if you’ll fold on your conviction,” the kwami replied.

“You mean my ultimatum,” Adrien hissed. “The one _you_ told me to give her.”

“The one you gave _Ladybug,”_ Plagg reminded him. “So it’s either that Ladybug is testing you or Marinette isn’t Ladybug and is just moving on. Either way, you have no business interrupting that date. Which I _know_ you’re thinking of doing. Just let it happen.”

“Let it- Plagg, I’ve had just about enough of these head games!” the blond snapped. “Your plan is spinning completely out of control and you just don’t want to admit it!”

“Kid, do you really want to spend the rest of your life second guessing if you’re two-timing the love of your life? Whichever one that might be?” the dark kwami asked archly, never sounding more like a little devil over his shoulder. At the model’s troubled expression, the little black being patted him on the brow like a pup. “Patience. Good things come to those who wait.”

Patience. Adrien had very little of it left to spare, especially after weeks of adhering to Plagg’s complicated plotting. However, he tried as much as he could, managing to get through the day while he ignored all the whispered gossip around him.

Then tomorrow came. It was a Saturday, which was when he was loaded up with tutoring and photoshoots. Even with the distractions, his mind wandered, growing physically ill as he thought about Marinette going out with Nathanaël. Nathanaël was sweet on her. Nathanaël wouldn’t hesitate to try to win her over. Nathanaël didn’t have some kwami holding him back, nothing to stop him from telling that he loved her...

“Mr. Agreste, you are supposed to be playing Clair de Lune, not Hall of the Mountain King,” his piano instructor chided, as the blond panted softly after railing his frustration against the keys. “It was far too aggressive. This is a song of whimsy. Of longing and romance.” His tutor sighed as she looked him over, “I’m surprised. You’re normally much better at expressing yourself.”

Adrien didn’t even blush at the chastisement. Romance. How could he even _think_ of anything romantic? Marinette was getting stolen out from under him and he wasn't _doing_ anything about it! Unable to take it anymore, the teen pushed himself up away from the piano, stalking to his room without a word.

Plagg knew what was up immediately.

“Kid, kid! Don’t do something you’re going to regret!” he hissed as Adrien slammed the door shut behind him.

“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” the blond snapped, eyes burning with anger. He held out his fist. “Plagg, transforme-moi!”

Moments later, Chat Noir burst out of the Agreste Mansion and out over the streets of Paris. He couldn’t even possibly begin to guess where the pair of them might be, whether they were inside a theater or in a cafe. All he could hope was that he could find them outside. By some stroke of luck, after an hour of searching, he spotted down walking side by side in the street along the Champs-Elysees. They were chatting away, eating ice cream.

Chat let out a small hiss from his perch along the rooftops, every bit of him bristling. She was clearly eating chocolate. That wasn’t even her favorite. Couldn’t Nathanaël even get _that_ right? How dare he claim any right to date her? His green eyes flicked around the busy street. There were too many people around. He’d have to wait until they went to somewhere more secluded before he caused a scene.

Meanwhile, Marinette kept an anxious eye out of the streets, only absently engaging in conversation with her classmate. Was Adrien coming? Had Tikki’s idea just backfired completely? What if she gave the blond the idea that she wasn’t interested in him anymore? What if he was out there, crying and broken hearted?

Beside her, Nathanaël gave her a rueful smile. “We’ve been walking around outside for a while now. Think we should take a break? I’m sure your prince will still come find you if you’re resting your feet.”

“H-he’s not my prince,” Marinette blushed. This only caused the artist to laugh.

“Maybe not,” Nathanaël said, guiding them over to the Jardin de la Nouvelle France where they could find a park bench to sit. He played with the wrapping of the ice cream cone in his fingers, while he watched Marinette continue to scout the area like a meerkat. “...Would it really be so bad if he didn’t come?” he asked softly.

That got the designer’s attention. “What?” she said, turning her gaze to him with startled eyes.

“What if he didn’t come?” Nathanaël pressed, turning an earnest gaze to her. “Then wouldn’t that mean he doesn’t care as much as you think he does? Maybe it’s a sign that he’s just been playing around with you.”

“He isn’t like that,” Marinette argued, though she felt an unpleasant flutter at the near identical phrasing to Tikki’s words.

“He’s a famous model. Who knows what he’s doing in his free time,” the artist argued. (Marinette almost barked a laugh at that, but she managed to stop herself.) “I’m serious, Marinette. If he’s not committed yet, he might be just a playboy.”

That was what she had thought once too. When she figured out that Adrien was Chat Noir. A scamp, a flirt, a tom cat. Then somehow he managed to win her twice over. Tikki might have implied that it was all a ploy, but Adrien was too soft and sincere for that to hold any water. However, before she could argue that, Nathanaël suddenly put a hand over hers on the bench.

“Marinette, I wouldn’t play around with you like he has,” he said earnestly, as a sharp chill ran down her shoulders at the touch. He leaned in, just slightly, gaze soft and imploring, “You wouldn’t just be a game to me. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. If you... if you’re willing to give me a chance...”

Marinette swallowed. “Nathanaël, I...”

“Get away from her!”

The pair of them looked up, shocked to see not Adrien, but Chat Noir. The cat was coiled up as if to spring, seething with barely restrained anger, eyes glowing like bright green embers. The blood drained from Marinette’s face. Oh no. She should have realized that this was a possibility. How was she supposed to explain this to Nathanaël!

Chat Noir never gave her a chance, taking her free hand to yank her up from the bench and solidly into his chest. His arms enclosed around her, making her blush and squeak like a chew toy. “She’s _mine,”_ he hissed, his lips drawn back into a snarl like a feral cat.

Nathanaël stared at the pair, wide eyed and slack jawed.

“I-it’s not what you think!” Marinette cried to him, before letting out a yelp when she was summarily kidnapped, as Chat Noir jumped up to the rooftops with her. The boy carried her bridal style in his arms, hold tight and possessive, as he bounded away. He didn’t stop until they were miles away, away from tourists and gawkers, alone on a rooftop.

“Ch-Chat,” the designer said, unsure of how to react. Her heart hammered in her throat, her stomach a flurry of butterflies. She let out another squeak, as the black-clad boy held her up close, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder, her palm, her cheek, in a possessive, kitten-ish manner. It was hard to believe that it was Adrien under there, _Adrien_ who was marking her.

“Promise me,” he said in a low voice. “Promise me you won’t ask anyone else out.”

Warm and flustered, Marinette stared at him. “How do you know I asked him out?” she asked quietly, knowing full well the answer.

Chat froze mid-rub.

 _Now_ he understood. Sighing, Marinette rubbed a hand over his choppy blond hair, stroking him as she would a pet. “Chat, Nathanaël and I were waiting for _Adrien_ to come and break up the date. _He’s_ the one that’s been stringing me along in school, you know. Unable to pick between me and Ladybug. Now I don’t even know what Nathanaël’s thinking.”

“...How do you know about Adrien’s conversation with Ladybug?” Chat asked, making the designer similarly freeze up.

The pair stared at one another. The truth was just so _obvious,_ it was maddening. Instead of confronting it, they had just been playing with one another in a bizarre game of chicken. A game that neither of them were even invested in. One that was only hurting them _both._

“Marinette, I-/Chat Noir, I-” both said simultaneously, when the sun was suddenly blocked out overhead. They looked up just in time to see something _huge_ falling towards them. Chat grabbed Marinette, rolling them both away just in time as a giant anvil crashed into building, creating a crater of destruction.

“Well, I’ll give you one guess who this might be,” Chat said. Sure enough, as they looked up, they found a familiar redheaded figure hovering over them with a jetpack. Not Nathanaël, but his akumatized counterpart. Evillustrator.

“Marinette! I should have known from last time!” the artist snarled, boiling with fury. “You didn’t just lead me on. Now you’re leading on two others! I can’t believe I bought your story about Adrien! _You’re_ the one who’s stringing people along!”

“Oh _great,_ Evillustrator in broad daylight. This is going to _suck,”_ Marinette said darkly under her breath. As if to prove her point, with a whirl of his pen, he sent several metal scythes in her direction, prompting Chat to haul her away to safety once again. And again, and again. It was all that the cat could do to play keepaway, leaving a swathe of destruction behind them. “Chat, you have to leave me!” she cried, when it became obvious that him simply protecting her wasn’t going to cut it.

“I’m not going to leave you! You’re his target!” Chat argued back, once against knocking back several cartoonish bombs with his baton. They ricocheted away, exploding against stone facades and rooftops.

“But you can’t keep this up!”

Chat’s green eyes flicked downwards to the street. People were screaming, fleeing, as the collateral damage from the fight was creating chaos above and below. “Hold on,” he said, gritting his teeth as he jumped down to the facade of one of the empty shops. “Go!” he said, pushing her inside one of the restaurants.

Marinette looked back at him. “Chat. Chat, I’m-”

“I know,” he cut her off, giving her an adoring smile. “Hurry back.” With that, he turned around to face Evillustrator on his own, ready distract him until Ladybug arrived. He planted his feet in a defensive stance, holding his baton at the ready.

The villain sneered as he landed lightly on the street. “Why are you defending her?” he demanded, holding his stylus threateningly over his tablet. “She’s played you just like everyone else! All she does is lead people on, _lie_ to them. She’s not worth your protection!”

Chat scoffed under his breath. As if she needed it. “Because,” he said simply, “I love her.”

The whizz of a yo-yo sounded, announcing Ladybug’s arrival. The superheroine dropped in beside her partner, a show of force and confidence. “Sorry I’m late!” she called. In a softer tone meant just for Chat’s ears, she asked, “...Did you mean that?”

Chat answered her with a smile. “I’ll prove it to you later. For now, let’s get to work.”

~o~

Tikki and Plagg faced off with one another. Eyes narrowed, paws clenched. Gazes locked into an unblinking staring contest.

Below them, Adrien and Marinette were utterly oblivious, too absorbed with one another to notice the millennia-long battle playing out overhead. They chatted animatedly over ice cream, Adrien more exuberant than he’d ever been, now that he was so free. Marinette couldn’t help but laugh at the dab of ice cream on his nose he’d missed in his excitement. Which she was happy to clean off for him with a thumb, making the model blush brightly.

Their sugary sweet display was a great source of entertainment for Marinette’s nosy parents, who watched the scene in the park from the patisserie windows. However, their laughter and giggles might as well be muted, as the kwami faced off against one another, hidden in the leaves in the tree above them.

 _(“Your girl was about to snitch. Twice,”)_ Plagg said slowly.

 _(“Well, she didn’t,”)_ Tikki said primly, before her tone darkened, _(“No thanks to you.”)_

 _(“I don’t know what you’re talking about,”)_ the black kwami snorted, _(“I had no contact with her whatsoever. How could I possibly force her to say anything of the sort?”)_

 _(“You know very well that you played your chosen like a fiddle,”)_ his mate argued back. _(“And he was desperate enough to go along with it. Thankfully, he’s got a good head on his shoulders.”)_

 _(“He figured it out on his own! What does it matter if she specifically says the words or not!”)_ Plagg cried, running his paws over his head in frustration.

 _(“Plausible deniability,”)_ Tikki replied lightly.

Plagg stared at her, mouth agape. _(“You- you stubborn, persnickety- ARGH! I cannot believe you sometimes!”)_ he howled, throwing his paws up in the air in exasperation.

 _(“Yes... but that’s what you like about me, don’t you?”)_ his other half smiled, giving the kitten-ish kwami a knowing look. Plagg glared at her, grumbling under his breath. However, he didn’t deny it. Taking that as an affirmative, Tikki giggled and wrapped up the grumpy-gus into a tight hug. _(“You got close.”)_

_(“I'll get you eventually.”)_

_(“Perhaps,”)_ Tikki demurred. _(“In the meantime, do you think that you can enjoy the fact that our babes have gotten together with relatively little drama?”)_

 _(“...I suppose,”)_ Plagg agreed. He was a fan of little drama. The pair watched their kits for a brief pause, slightly in awe that they got together so young. It was a rare treat indeed. Then Plagg said, _(“You owe me for putting up with this Adrien kid though. He’s a total sap.”)_

_(“...Yeah, he is kind of bad. I’m not sure how you managed.”)_


End file.
